July 22, 2013 Focus Point

July 22, 2013
Focus Point

Are Your Relationships Real?

On a daily basis everywhere we go, everything we do, we are working and communicating in some way with other people. In fact even yourself you cannot escape, for where ever you go, there you are. Our hope in working with others is for positive outcomes to serve them, but also to get what we want as well for a win-win. One powerful point to remember: Manipulation is to move someone for personal advantage, while Motivation is to move someone for mutual advantage.

Your ability to communicate clearly, give direction specifically, listen intently, offer advice at the right time with true intention of the other persons interests, and to be effective in conflict resolution, will make or break you. Now there are some who would just rather not have to "deal" with people at all, but I cannot think of any job or business that exists that you do not have to work with people. In fact every company has 3 basic functions. 1. Marketing, 2. Sales, and 3. Fulfillment. Each of these areas require connecting with other people.

In John Maxwell's work The Ten Commandments of Handling Conflict he teaches 10 key points as follows. (For full detail on each point please visit my blog at trentwhite.blogspot.com )

1. Obey the 101% Principle, in finding the 1% that you agree on and give it 100% of your effort

2. Love people more than opinions
3. Give others the benefit of the doubt
4. Learn to be flexible
5. Provide an escape hatch for the other person in the conflict
6. Check your own attitudes
7. Don't overreact
8. Don't become defensive
9. Welcome the conflict
10. Take a risk

There are days and times when you may feel like Charlie Brown when he said: "I love mankind, it's people I can't stand." Every person wants success in their work and profession, and every company wants to increase bottom line profits. Therefore, when there is conflict we must overcome, when there is misunderstanding we must clarify, when tempers flare we must remain calm and think clearly.

My encouragement this week is to grow in areas of relationships and give thought as to why the other person thinks, feels, and behaves the way they do.