Focus Point
Win Big
With Your Next Client, Customer, Co-Worker, Friend
There
are book shelves full of books that teach people how to relate with others and
to win them to your way of thinking. I hope this week to share a few ideas that
you can put into practice immediately. In all that you do in working with
people remember: Motivation is to move someone for mutual advantage.
Manipulation is to move someone for personal advantage.
1.
Compliment others. Take the opportunity as often as you can to give and share a
compliment, make it a way of life to compliment others. Amplify the impact by
complimenting people in front of other people. Compliment often, quickly,
sincerely, and on purpose, and people will love working with you.
2.
Listen actively. The fundamental cause of nearly all communication is that
people listen to reply rather than to gain understanding. David Burn, a medical
doctor and professor of psychiatry at the University of Pennsylvania, says:
"The biggest mistake you can make in trying to talk convincingly is to put
your highest priority on expressing your ideas and feelings. What most people
really want is to be listened to, respected, and understood." You can add
tremendous value to another person by listening to understand, rather than to
reply. How can we add value to someone if we do not know what it is they value?
And how can we understand what they value if we do not listen?
3. Encourage them. Norman
Cousins said: "Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss
is what dies inside of us while we live." Help people become all that they
can be, help them discover their strengths and gifts. True motivation is
stretching a person outside of their comfort zone, but not outside of their
gift zone.
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