October 28, 2013 Focus Point

October 28, 2013
Focus Point

Discover Yourself

"A discovery is said to be an accident meeting a prepared mind." -Albert Szent-Gyorgi

When Christopher Columbus discovered a new world, he had to first leave the old world and all of its securities in order to discover what lay ahead.

There is a baseball analogy that says: "You have to take your foot off first base in order to get to second base." There are many people who have dreams and ideas but they are never secure enough to let go of what they know so that they can receive what they could have. Sometimes we lose what is best for us if we do not take a risk.

I encourage you to discover what it is that is your inner most desire, and start moving towards it. Be a "make it happen kind of person" and it will happen. I believe now more than ever before, that our personal growth and willingness to change when necessary, will drive our opportunities in life, advancement in our work, success in working with people for a win-win, and so forth.

What is it that is just waiting to be discovered by YOU?

October 21, 2013 Focus Point

October 21, 2013
Focus Point

Win Big With Your Next Client, Customer, Co-Worker, Friend

There are book shelves full of books that teach people how to relate with others and to win them to your way of thinking. I hope this week to share a few ideas that you can put into practice immediately. In all that you do in working with people remember: Motivation is to move someone for mutual advantage. Manipulation is to move someone for personal advantage.

1. Compliment others. Take the opportunity as often as you can to give and share a compliment, make it a way of life to compliment others. Amplify the impact by complimenting people in front of other people. Compliment often, quickly, sincerely, and on purpose, and people will love working with you.

2. Listen actively. The fundamental cause of nearly all communication is that people listen to reply rather than to gain understanding. David Burn, a medical doctor and professor of psychiatry at the University of Pennsylvania, says: "The biggest mistake you can make in trying to talk convincingly is to put your highest priority on expressing your ideas and feelings. What most people really want is to be listened to, respected, and understood." You can add tremendous value to another person by listening to understand, rather than to reply. How can we add value to someone if we do not know what it is they value? And how can we understand what they value if we do not listen?

3. Encourage them.  Norman Cousins said: "Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside of us while we live." Help people become all that they can be, help them discover their strengths and gifts. True motivation is stretching a person outside of their comfort zone, but not outside of their gift zone.

October 14, 2013 Focus Point

October 14, 2013
Focus Point

Clarity Is More Powerful Than Assumption!

If there is one thing that we know in absolute truth, it is the fact that the things we assume are wrong most of the time.

Robert Rohm teaches the following: "Assumption is the poison that kills personal and business relationships, derails success, and tarnishes almost everything that it touches. That is because when you assume something, you are simply taking a guess at a situation. It is like shooting in the dark. It is impossible to read someone else's mind, and it is impossible for someone else to read your mind. The wise thing to do in any situation is to take just a second to gain clarity. Assumptions are dangerous and will get you into trouble! If you want to assume something, just assume that what you are assuming is probably incorrect. That assumption will be correct most of the time!" 

We can gain tremendous insight and clarity by learning how to ask effective questions, such as: "Here is my understanding about the situation...Am I correct?" or "This is what you are asking me to do, am I hearing you correctly?" 

The main problem that occurs in communication is the illusion that takes place. Meaning, you say one thing, but your listener hears something else. Whenever there is some confusion or misunderstanding, having a simple conversation will eliminate the unknown factors so that everyone can see what is taking place with much more clarity and detail and to help remove barriers to communication.  

October 7, 2013 Focus Point

October 7, 2013
Focus Point

What Are You Attracting?

Think of the most influential and kind hearted people that you know. I am willing to bet that they have an attractive spirit, in other words they are beautiful on the inside. Isn't it amazing how much you can accomplish in life when you try hard and like the saying goes, "put everything you've got, into everything you do"? And in the process you become more valuable and attractive.

John Maxwell believes that most people want to be attractive, but that they do not understand what it really means. You see, we try so hard to be attractive on the outside, but the REAL attractive people have a great attitude and become both beautiful and attractive on the inside. This in turn makes them more beautiful on the outside.

A Second thought on attraction is: What are you attracting into your life? Experts teach that we are as if a magnet attracting people, circumstances, books, and events into our life based on what we think, the way we talk, and what we give attention to. A few thoughts to consider: What do we wish to attract into our life? And, what are we actually attracting into our life by our thoughts, words, and actions?

October 2013 Leadership Connect

Conflict Management

Imagine the amount of dollars companies in America spend on conflict resolution! No matter what part of our life, there will always be some sort of conflict. I do not believe that we can reduce it all together, I believe that it is an aspect of life. But I also believe and know to be true that we can minimize it a great deal and, (here's the key), become more effective in handling it when it does come.

According to John Maxwell, Intelligence is a great start. There are different kinds of intelligence. There is mental intelligence or IQ, there is relational intelligence, but emotional intelligence is what allows us to connect with people. And to connect with other people is to be a success in life. Emotional Intelligence allows you to do well with others and yourself. It allows you to feel the situation. You can feel what others feel, which allows you to know what they know so that you can add value to them. You not only hear what is being said and see what is being done, but you feel the context of what is being said and done and the situation in general.

Nothing perhaps is a greater asset than having Emotional Intelligence in being successful with other people. And when you are successful in working with people, you can become very effective at cutting off conflict before it starts because you will have the other person's interests and needs in mind. When people feel heard, understood, and listened to, they quickly become more agreeable.

Next time you have an employee question policies, rules, authority, or otherwise, give thought to what is behind the words they use. Consider their feelings and how you can meet the true and deep needs inside, the needs that most people overlook and ignore. I know that you will be a success with people as you put more energy into your conversations and practice having emotional intelligence with those you lead.

15 Laws of Growth