Focus Point
The 3 self defeating C's. Criticize, Complain, Compare.
Criticizing is all about what we think and feel about
others. Have you ever been around someone who just accepts you for who you are?
Even through all of the mistakes you make, they are someone who remains solid
and a person you can count on. Contrast that relationship with one where all
they seem to think about and talk about is what is wrong with you and others.
When you make positive changes in life you may get criticized
for it. But pressure from other people who do not have your best interests in
mind, and to whom you have given no permission to speak into your life should
never have power to deter you from following your heart and creating the future
which you desire. John Maxwell said it this way: "If you don't try to
create the future you want, you must endure the future you get."
Complaining is much the same as to criticize, but more
pointed towards circumstance and situations. The traffic is horrible, it's too
hot, it's to cold that's not fair, and so on. To avoid the temptation to
complain, when you realize that something bothers you first decide if it is
something you have control over. Much of what people worry or complain about
they have absolutely no control over and it is wasted energy at best, and
really a detriment to their forward progress at worst. If you do have control
over the situation, then the only answer is to go to work.
Comparing is when you measure yourself to others, or your
stuff to their stuff, your job to their job, your car, your house, your toys
(or lack of toys), your face, etc. The problem here is that in your mind you
start to form judgments and really measure people by their stuff. If they have
more or better than you, well, you feel jealous. If you find that you actually
have more than them, then you feel that it makes you better than them. It is
judging people by what they have rather than by who they are. The
only comparing that should be done is your current performance and behavior
against that which you desire to have, do, or become.
When a person has been in difficult situations or had people
harm them in some way, and you would think that they have every right to
criticize, complain, or compare, and yet they do not, you know you have found a
true friend. Because this kind of person is rare to find, they are someone you
can count on, and they will always stay true.
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